How To Find Stability In Times of Chaos
DO you feel stable in your life?
Stability has been an aspect of my life, that I have craved since my early childhood years. I usually felt a ton of frustration when something outside of me would shake me or make me feel unstable.
In my adult years, I found myself seeking stability in relationships and external circumstances like a career or education. Needless to say, that stability was only an illusion and did not last for a long time. I realized some years ago that nothing and no one outside of me can provide me the stability I seek.
Sometimes we seek one relationship after the next just to feel secure and stable… but each time we do that, we end up losing aspects of ourselves in those relationships. We might end up giving up a lot for something that might not last. And once that relationship is over, it becomes almost impossible to make ourselves whole again.
Remember… there is always a price to pay when we seek something from our environment without first discovering, what we seek, within.
It’s important to understand why we seek stability. Stability is a state of feeling solid and steady, regardless of the situation we face. A person that is stable is much more able to achieve their goals with ease and calm. An unstable person will not have the composure to imagine, plan, execute on their goals without difficulty and struggle.
The feeling of stability is what humans seek after they have discovered a safe environment.
Do you feel stable in your life or is that something to you seek?
Safety before Stability
Many people seek security and safety in relationships, work or service. In fact, feeling safe is a basic need for every human. And, I believe that feeling safe is a pre-requisite for feeling stable. If our physiological needs are not being met, it becomes impossible, for us, to focus on anything else. If you do not have food to eat or clean water to drink, your priority will always be to gather.. not to create a stable environment. Or if your person is not safe, you will not, for one moment, desire anything more than safety.
On the other hand, even if your physiological needs are in fact met but your conditioning (patterns) that you run are of lack and scarcity, you will find yourself busy with gathering and not stabilizing. That is because, you will still feel like you do not have enough.
So this is really not a matter of whether you are rich or poor… this is a matter of the underlying designs that run your life. I explain more about underlying designs in this video.
TIPS to develop stability in your life
Stability is a skill. It is a learned aspect of life. Simply anyone can develop stability, even if they have gone through the worst life experiences. All it takes to do so is time and patience.
In this blog, I will share a few tricks and life hacks, I have picked up through my own transformation journey, that have allowed me to create and maintain stability in my life.
1. Evaluate how you feel within… Ask yourself if you feel stable in your life – within yourself… In-spite of your circumstances (relationships, work, health conditions etc.)
2. Journal about where in your life you feel instability. Write down a summary of which aspects of life make you feel unstable. Is it relationships, work, goals, health … ?
3. Pick one aspect where you do not feel stable. Let’s say that aspect is a love relationship.
4. Ask your-self where you can let go in your relationship bucket or what you can let go of in your relationship to feel better about yourself? I have written an article on the art of letting go that you can read here.
5. Every single day for 10 days, practice letting go of something – anything that is affecting your relationship. Chances are you will end up letting go of the EGO that is preventing you from experience true bliss in life. My very first video on my YouTube channel was about Surrender. I hope this helps you.
For example, if you found that you did not feel love in your relationship, you might ask yourself what aspect within yourself is preventing you from loving yourself? Can you really expect to feel unconditional love from someone else if you cannot feel that love for yourself first?
Other ways to create stability everyday
I am a big proponent of inner work. When we work on ourselves, and stop blaming everyone else for the challenges we face, we basically end up acknowledging where we are broken. And when we see our broken-ness, we are much more suited to then healing ourselves.
The following daily practices help me acknowledge my brokenness:-
1. Getting Grounded: When I feel grounded or connected to Earth I am better able to handle the emotions that come up. I am better able to see them for what they are – expressions of experiences that I have lived. And I am better able to let them go.
2. Practicing Yoga: My daily yoga practice keeps me in my body. When I am connected to my body and all my parts, I become adept at noticing if any part of me wants to escape and avoid life. Practicing yoga helps me do life more efficiently.
3. Daily Exercise and Nutrition: When I eat for my body, to sustain its natural vibrancy, I end up honouring the gift that I have been given. By taking care of my physical being I allow my being to be connected to me and communicate its needs to me.
4. Meditation Practice: I have written a blog about why families need to practice meditation and why meditation benefits them. You can take a look here.
Where can you Start today?
If you are looking to develop a stable mind, body and spirit connection… you can start by simply journaling about your life as I have highlighted above.
And if you need help with the steps that I have highlighted in this post, please get in touch here.
Even though you are completely capable of creating a stable life for yourself, it’s okay to ask for support if you are struggling. In my life coaching work, I empower you to see the gaps or blindspots that you might be missing. We will work together to help you fix the brokenness and create a whole and fulfilling life for you.
Remember, stability is a learned skill. Everyone can learn and practice creating stability in their lives.
