Setting Boundaries for Personal Growth and Success
Setting Boundaries for personal growth
Over the last few years, I have pondered the cost benefit ratio of setting boundaries with some very challenging relationships in my life. Although setting boundaries creates for me a sense of control, the process itself leaves a sour taste in my mouth.
Why do we need to create boundaries with the people we love? Why do we burn out from the constant expectations and demands of our combined relationships – family, friends and work? To me it never made sense to keep creating boundaries with loved ones. But did I have to? YES. That was my only choice. At least in the beginning of my personal growth journey.
WHAT IS A BOUNDARY?
A personal boundary sustains our personal energy that becomes our primary fuel for life. Our personal energy helps us navigate the daily challenges that life offers us. When that personal energy starts to deplete due to demands of many people in our lives, we start to recognize the need for setting boundaries with those people. The primary purpose of setting boundaries is conservation of our personal energy.
The problem with setting boundaries
The thing about setting boundaries is that once you create those walls with people, it’s tough to break them and erase those boundaries. I feel that setting boundaries is really a trauma response. If communication had been open between two people, the need to create boundaries would not arise.
So it seems like communication is the real problem here. For example: If I cannot be open and honest with the people in my life, I start to retract.. I start to hold back.. I start to keep secrets. Eventually, I create enough distance with the people in my life because that distance keeps my energy intact. And I am not against setting boundaries… but I believe that setting boundaries does not heal the relationship between two people.
Is there a better way to conserve my personal energy?
Over the last six years I have learnt two lesson.
1. Sometimes our only choice is to set boundaries with people we love but have a challenging relationship with. And that’s okay. For trauma to release, we need that distance. For example: you cannot continue to be in an abusive relationship and expect to heal from it.
2. Long term, setting boundaries is not the answer. For sustainable personal growth, we need to remove the patterns in our lives that make our relationships that challenging. Thats the long term solution. This is more work on our parts but has a high reward. Once we clean up our stuck energies and underlying patterns that do not work anymore, we can start to attract easier relationships in our lives.
I speak more about this in my video here.
If you would like to work with me one on one, feel free to contact me here.
the ultimate goal of personal transformation
Setting boundaries is simply a temporary step towards creating space in our lives so we are able to heal the trauma and move on to the next phase. Sometimes boundaries are permanent and that creates trauma as well. So creating those boundaries can become a permanent cycle of trauma resolution for us.
For real life transformation to take place, we have to remove the programming (underlying patterns) that we run that attract those negative experiences in our lives. That is the path to ascension and raining our consciousness that allows for a life that does not need boundaries.
The goal of my ascension journey is to become boundless.
What do you want to achieve from personal growth practices?
“The goal of my ascension journey is to become boundless.” – AWESOME
Thank you… glad you enjoyed!