Pause. Reflect. Action.
where have I been? Its almost 2021.
Its been a chaotic few months.. I haven’t been blogging / writing in my journal or following a set plan for my life. It might seem like I have given up on my blog and my passion for writing. But really, I have not. I am simply taking time to pause and reflect on where I am in time and space.
What I have learnt from my past is that the busyness of life has the potential to erase any chance of celebrating what we have accomplished thus far. For example, pre-Covid, I had my boys booked for 3-4 after school activities a week. Well (in my head) that’s what dedicated mums did. What my involuntary time (Covid, thank you) helped me realize is … I need to take time to just be and simply pause and reflect. If I can’t be true to simply being here, I will not be able to really accomplish anything that truly matters.
Sure my kids miss all those activities, but they prize the time they have to explore and create … They have discovered the power of being bored (a long pause). In their free time, they play more with each other, make up silly games, read books that they wouldn’t have otherwise and help out with household chores. They hug me more and show me who they are deep inside. Finally, we have bonded as a family.
I definitely overdid the activities pre-Covid. Once things return to our new normal, I will probably commit to one (and enjoyable) activity (after school) per week and that’s it. I am starting to really enjoy the moments of peace that comes with activity free weekdays and weekends.
Why pause and reflect is my new mantra
I know that this year has been crazy for most everyone I know or don’t. We share that. But I have also learnt that the only thing that has helped me stay grounded is my meditation practice (read more). Working on myself the last few years has been a boon. Not only have I used all that I have learnt about personal growth to my advantage. I have gone deeper into this work and found myself. Finally.
Today, I feel like I am here. On this beautiful planet. In my beautiful body. Experiencing this moment and taking in the now. Isn’t that what gratitude lists are made of? And that is why, I am taking the time to enjoy this feeling. Everything else can wait. I am not done with personal growth… not even close. But I am learning to enjoy what I have accomplished. I have finally learnt to be okay with where I am and value what I have. And I have learnt to focus on the now.
So before I do another deep dive into my next phase of healing, I would like to acknowledge where I am today. I feel successful. A few years ago I made a choice. I decided to see where healing myself would take me. The pain of healing was enough to make me want to quit innumerable times. But the moments of being were enough to keep me on my journey to self. Learning to pause and reflect has been a tool like no other.
I am enough.
my plan for the rest of 2020
There are only a few days left in 2020 and I plan on making the most out of them. I am goal driven – always have been. But this time around my goals will help me become even more aware of where I am. I have realized that chasing flighty goals for feeling good about myself does not work. First I want to feel good within and then expand into those goals that light me up. And that is why I am retreating inwards even more. It’s time to see what else is hidden deep inside that needs to be healed and released.
I am at a stage in my healing journey where the activity of healing myself is not only exciting, it’s what keeps me grounded. The more I heal, the better I feel.
So folks, enjoy the last few days of 2020 and take the time to pause and reflect on whatever holds you back from living your best life!
